I first heard about Drag Queen Bingo from my fabulous friend Jacob who introduced me to a drag queen named Miss Barbie Que who told me she sometimes calls bingo at Hamburger Mary's on Wednesdays.
Say whaaaaah?? Drag queens... bingo... hamburgers... sign me up!!
I decided to go over to Hamburger Mary's in West Hollywood on a lovely Wednesday night in February. My amazing friends Meaghan and Tracy came with me for the festivities. There are two bingo shows each night - one at 7:00 and one at 9:30. We opted for the later show since I had to work late that night. So when we got the Hamburger Mary's, we had to wait in line a bit outside for the first show to end. After a few minutes they sat us, and we immediately ordered big margaritas (I got a "Skinny Bitch" which was pretty strong and delicious). Tracy and I decided to split a table of sliders, which was a great idea because we got to sample each of their specialty burgers.
After we ordered we signed up for bingo, paid $20 per person (100% of the proceeds go to featured charities, that night it was the Trevor Project) and got our cards. Each person gets a pack of 10 bingo cards, plus 2 smaller cards to play for special prizes at the end. We got our markers and were good to go!
Then our Bingo Madame of the evening came out. Her name was Bridgette of Madison County and she was feisty!!! She taught us some of the call backs like "I-29... Yes I am, and holding!" and "O-68... you do me and I'll owe you one!" Our first game was going to be traditional bingo, any 5 spots in a row would win.
Bridgette: What do we play?
Crowd: BINGO!!
Bridgette: And how do we play it?
Crowd: LOUUDDLLLYYYY!!!
So we played the first game, and much to our delight when we lost, they made the winner run through the crowd while we crumpled up our losing cards and threw them at the winner!
The 2nd game, we were going to play "tops and bottoms" meaning you had to get the whole top row, or whole bottom row. Pretty soon into the game, I had 4 of the top spots on my card filled. Oh hell yeah, I might just win bingo for the first time in my life!! All I needed was B-14. So when I heard Bridgette shout out "In order to date Roman Polanski, you have to.... B-14!!!" I pretty much screamed BINGOOOO!!!! and ran to the front of the restaurant. Bridgette congratulated me on being a "top." Unfortunately, another girl had gotten bingo with me as well... so for the tie-break Bridgette had two bingo balls in her hand and said "GRAB MY BALLS!" so we each took one, and the person with the highest number would win. I had 74 (highest number in bingo is 75) so I was pretty certain I had won. AND I WON!!!!!!!! So then I had to do my very own run of shame through the restaurant, getting pelted by loser cards from every direction. As I ran past my table, Tracy and Meg had no shame about chucking theirs at me too! (Even though Tracy was SO stoked that I won!). When I made it back up to the front, Bridgette presented me with my prize... as she prefaced it, "the BEST prize of the night!" I won the "Disney Basket" complete with some Disney DVDs, a Disney autograph book with pen, a mickey-ears hat, and 2 tickets to Disneyland!!! The rest of the night, the prizes weren't nearly as good. I could hardly believe my good luck :)
The next few games we played were a bit different.. we played "M for Mary" where bingo was having a big M on your board, and a fan favorite, "pork and beans" where you have to basically get the shape of a penis on your card to win. During that game, a girl called bingo, but when she went up to claim her prize, Bridgette saw that she didn't actually have bingo. So she made the false-bingo caller put her hands on a table and bend over, and Bridgette spanked her (HARD!) with a small whip! The girl thought it was going to be funny but when you heard the CRACK of the whip... we all felt a bit sorry for her, even if she did try to cheat at bingo!
I already knew that this night was going to be one of the most fun Wednesdays I had ever had, but I didn't even have any IDEA how rad it was going to end up. It's such a great feeling to go into something with high expectations, and STILL be completely blown away. Of course, WINNING didn't hurt that at all, but my girlfriends who I was with still had a ton of fun even though they didn't win. I cannot wait to go back again, support a charity, yell really loudly, throw things at people, and drink a strong margarita. This is a definite MUST-DO for all Angelenos and friends visiting on Wednesdays!!
Oh and PS- they bring you your bill in a high heel shoe. Love it!
Me with my winnings - thanks to Tracy for insisting I take photographic evidence!!
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